january already!

I haven't written in awhile- but my car officially died before I could bring it home for Christmas, then I went home for Christmas and had a wonderful time with my family and seeing friends, then went to New York City for New Years, and now I'm back at work. Some of us went to Vermont this past weekend, and we had the chance to go to Burlington on Saturday- I really love it there! It's definitely someplace I would want to live someday, although maybe not next year. Or maybe next year. I don't know. I think New England winters are hard (but this week is/will be beautiful- then next week will probably be so cold again) and I want to be in a little city like Burlington or Providence or New Haven. I've always loved New York but I think it feels too big for me right now. Or maybe I'll change my mind back and move to Brooklyn like everyone else. As you can see, I have no idea.

But that's ok! Because I love where I am right now. I can't believe a third of my year here is gone (and our halfway-point retreat is in just a few weeks)!

and I'm excited for Obama! I have my fingers crossed for New Hampshire.

six days till Christmas

One and a half days till Christmas break! I'm looking forward to the time off. I love my job and I like the feeling of being super busy and productive, but I feel like I need a break! The stress is piling up. The more clients get to know me and like me, the more help they ask for- and that's wonderful, but a lot of days I'm the only program staff person here. I just hope my little car can make it home safely! I'm supposed to get it looked at soon, because I haven't taken it on the highway since the accident.

ignorance

I heard that Homeless Connect Day made the first page of the newspaper, so I read the article on their website. Then I read the comments from readers- and most of them made my heart sink. There were some that said that everyone who helped organize and put on the event should be proud of themselves and that giving back is what Christmas is about, etc., and then there were ones like this (Shawn's comment said it was great that people came together to help):

Too bad you don't get it Shawn. These people came together to help out junkies, people who won't get a job, people sleeping around with the wrong people, and a parade of others many (maybe not all) of whom can, but choose not to, earn their own way in life, so they make us subsidize them. Why won't you let them do it for themselves and rely on a little independence. Did you tear up with joy when you read the woman say she was happy her AIDS test was negative? What a sweet thought for the holidays - get all the free AIDS testing you want - and those who dont sleep around will foot the bill for you.

Comments like this rant on and on about the evil liberals taking their tax money to help the poor. I wish I could ask him, people always choose to "earn their own way in life"? They choose to be born poor, or born addicted to drugs or born with AIDS, or to be sexually abused as children, or to have mental or physical handicaps, or to come back from serving their country and find little support for veterans? They choose to sleep outside when it's snowing? And they choose to be reduced to begging a volunteer (who is less than half of their age and a product of white privilege) for deodorant or toothpaste?

I think the world would be such an awful place if every individual man and woman was out for themselves and if every person thought that all the destitute need to do is "help themselves" and "choose not to be homeless." I can't (and I know that no JV can) spend time wondering what led people to lives of substance abuse or crime or homelessness- it's not for me to judge, and judging won't get anybody anywhere. Whatever the reason, (and the same person above proposed a few in a different comment- "laziness, sloth, lack of initiative to pay attention in school"- which give me a break, but ok let's just go with those) the reason isn't the point, the reality is that the homeless need help and that's the absolute bottom line. If someone chooses not to offer any help to them, that's totally fine. But it's pretty despicable for someone to go out of their way to criticize the people who do want to help because they realize that shelter and food are human rights! You don't "earn" them.

snow day

Homeless Connect Day is over! I'm so relieved. It seemed to go really well, especially considering it was Hartford's first year having one. It was funny that I spent so long trying to coordinate a ticketing system for lunch, and explained to the volunteers at the participant sign-in desk which tickets to hand out and in what order, and then after the press conference inside, the mayor flung the front doors open to get his photo op and shake a few hands, and then everyone flooded in without even stopping at the ticket table! But everyone got a bagged lunch (most people got four or five) and it worked out. And Starbucks came through with a ton of free coffee and pastries, and Dunkin Donuts and Panera gave us lots of pastries and donuts too. I knew almost all of the participants that came in, and one of the woman that works at the church where it was held said that the kitchen/dining room area I was in charge of was the only room where everything went smoothly and didn't need extra attention. Tom took us out for appetizers and sangria afterwards to celebrate months and months of planning being over, and now I'm looking forward to throwing all of my paperwork in the recycling bin and moving on to something else.

But I don't think the stress for this week is over, because they are predicting a big snowstorm to start at noon and the agencies that go by what the public schools do are all closed. None of my co-workers who live in the suburbs are coming, so Rachel and I are running the soup kitchen all by ourselves (it usually takes at least five people to make things run smoothly). We're making sure that 100 people have coffee and snacks and then a hot lunch, then closing the doors early at 12:30 and hopefully not sliding on ice again on the way home! 

speaking of which

It started snowing this afternoon, and when I was driving home an hour later, my car slid on a snow-covered sheet of ice and into the back of an SUV in front of me. I was only a block away from my house! the SUV was fine, and the driver was such a sweetheart (the odds of that happening in my neighborhood are crazy- locals are really aggressive and rude drivers), but my passenger's side light is cracked and sunken in (it still lights up though!) and my hood is bent and the whole front end of the car is a little misshapen. the car's cuter now though, because if the headlights are the eyes, it looks like it's winking.

We waited for an hour and a half (my toes were frozen) for the police to come, but there were so many accidents in the city that they didn't show. I don't have collision insurance, and there wasn't a scratch on her car (well, a little piece of my headlight, but she just brushed it off), so we decided it wasn't worth continuing to wait when it could be all night. We were both on our way home from work- me from a soup kitchen and her from the children's hospital- so I felt awful making her wait even though she was so nice about it.

It's funny how I was just complaining about the car. I think it runs ok, but I drove the block home at about 5 mph because I was nervous. And really, the past two weeks have been sort of an awful one thing after another. I came home and took a bubble bath and put my PJs on- Meredith and Paul and I are going to have some dinner and watch a movie, and I'm looking forward to not leaving the house at all.

We had our final meeting today for Homeless Connect Day. The event is on Wednesday, and I'm really excited about it! I think it's a great idea to have a one-stop service fair for our clients. They can get a coat, a "survival bag" with a hat, gloves, and socks, toiletries, free books, coffee and pastries, a haircut, lunch, legal advice, and free HIV and blood pressure tests, meet with temp agencies and doctors and shelter staff and on and on. I know plenty of people will come and grab a coat and a sandwich and run, but I hope at least a good amount of people will take advantage of all of the services. I think it'll be a hectic Monday through Wednesday.

my stupid car

keeps having problems. the latest is the doors. you have to open two of them from the inside or else they're impossible to get open. this morning, the driver's and the passenger's side doors were stuck. we got in and Rachel's wouldn't close, so she had to hold it closed on our way to work. I thought mine was closed, but when I rounded a corner it flew open and scared the crap out of me. I used the lock de-icer, I pushed the latch into the right spot, and then I took it to the repairman, who said it's very broken and will be very difficult to replace. this isn't New York where we can hop on subways! I need my car! especially now that it's getting really cold, and for example I got a ride home from work today but Rachel has to stay at her office late and I don't want her to have to walk home in the dark. I was in a bad mood all day because of it. the problem is that it's just an old car so even if the door magically starts working, there will probably be one problem after another till it's undriveable and I'm stuck. the only other car in our house is Beth's, and she's not allowed to leave the city with it. this is so frustrating!

title

I've been meaning to write all week! It was a stressful week in some ways- the dinner group Monday was awful (the cook is so arrogant- he comes into the dining room several times during dinner and begs for applause, he doesn't bring a drink with him to serve and when I said we had drinks leftover from Thanksgiving and we'd pour them all for him, he refused to even touch the cups or serve the drinks), the kitchen was flooded the day I had to cook- but it was funny because I had waterproof shoes still in the office from when it rained days before and I'd almost brought them home but then didn't, so they were helpful. But there were a lot of good things- Starbucks donated a TON of pastries this week, and a lot of coffee which they hadn't donated before, the League of Champions (myself and four co-workers and our supervisor) went to happy hour yesterday and that was a lot of fun, Rachel found my missing ID and credit cards which was a HUGE relief, we decorated the inside of the house for Christmas and I'm going to finish decorating the soup kitchen on Monday, plans are coming along for Homeless Connect Day on December 12th, etc.

Yesterday, Rachel and I went to her work early to sort clothes because clients coming in for the food bank were going to start looking for coats and clothing donations. And it dawned on me that it's ok to be picky when you're making donations- yes the poor are poor but it's insulting to donate shirts with huge coffee stains or sweat stains or used underwear. Clothes like that only belong in the garbage and not in a bag of donations. yuck!

It was so nice to sleep in this morning, and after we go running we're going to go to a wine tasting and then Christmas shopping. And I want to see the Hartford Festival of Lights downtown and all of the lights in Goodwin Park. There's also a tour of the Governor's Mansion decorated for Christmas and something similar at the Mark Twain House.